meh, life is hard.

Spring break!

Last year I took a train with some of my best friends to San Francisco. It was an adventure. We rode on a train for 25 hours and navigated a city non of us had ever been to before.

This year I have spent most of spring break laying around my mom's apartment watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. It was definitely less exciting than last year. I keep on thinking things are going to get better tomorrow. "Once winter quarter is over, everything will be better" "Once I am not an RA, everything will be better" "Once I change variable X everything will be better." Maybe things aren't just going to get better. Maybe time isn't enough to make positive change. I want this quarter to be better than the last. I want my life to be better. I want to be happier, more productive, more honest. What can I do to make this change. I always feel like I am in this transition. College is just preparing me for the next step. But maybe I shouldn't keep settling, because I am constantly holding out for the next step. I want things to be better an more fulfilling now.

meh, life is hard.