Thursday, July 31, 2008


Nothing is as it appears.

Seemingly perfect situations always disappoint.
People will always be human.

I guess the honeymoon stage is over.
I hope its not to late to wake up and face reality.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


So for those who don't know, I work at a youth center. This job includes putting on events for high schoolers. Now lets think about some of the worst things that can happen while putting on events for minors. Hum, well you could write down the wrong place and address on every flier, or you could take the bus with the kiddies and get them completely lost because you got on the wrong bus, or the best, someone could seriously injure themselves, like a broken foot.

Well so far an event I've put on has included all of these!!

Why the hell have I not been fired yet?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

please don't disappoint

I guess it would only make sense that as I am changing rapidly through experiences and age, people who live an hour and a half north of me also go through similar changes. I guess the awkward part is when these two entities, who were once very familiar with each other grow and change completely separate from each other, then reunite. I once knew you and you once knew me. We can't understand the difference and are offended by it. "Well I am allowed to change and be different, but familiarity is comfortable, so please don't disappoint."

I am living in the past. But not an accurate representation of similar situations that have already come to pass, but a diluted sugar coated existence where I am wrongly remembering "the good ole days". Things have changed and I've changed. Of course I've changed. If I spent 2 years at college and didn't change, well that would be a waste.

Those who were once peers, are now proving less and less that they are up to the challenge. Maybe it was always tainted. Maybe I've been given eyes to see past high school bull shit. I hope so. It seems as though each community requires 100% of me and I don't have that to offer. I think I am being asked to sacrifice. I can't give myself fully to both so I must choose. Both need someone to commit to years of servitude and my specific gifts will come in handy with each.

Challenging the status quo is hard and I feel like I'm neglecting the inevitable.

Familiarity is comforting. That's why decisions are sometimes hard to make. I don't want to ignore a call because I'm afraid of what I'll hear. On the other hand, things can looking tempting from certain angles, yet reveal itself fully later on.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I have been in Olympia too long

Is Charlie right?
(well thats obviously not possible)

Is Edmonds a dangerous crime ridden city?
I always felt so sheltered growing up here. Like that the big city is miles away and I am stuck in a suburban bubble. I laughed at the notion that Edmonds was a dangerous community where you needed to lock the doors at night. I thought I was immortal in this town. But being in Olympia for so long has allowed me to be removed from this community and now I am more accurately able to reflect on it. So maybe it isn't normal to see people doing drug deals, maybe it isn't normal for most of the people I know to have warrants, maybe it isn't normal for the cops to visit my home once a week, maybe it isn't normal to live just blocks away from the hooker motels, and maybe its totally more interesting not to be normal.
So I might be in a little more "danger" than residents of La Conner, but my eventual goal is to leave the suburbs and stake my residency in the big city. I guess I can just consider all of this practice. And besides, a little edge is hella punk rock, which of course is always my goal.
I guess the weird thing about Edmonds is that although alot of citizens of this fine city are very familiar with "big city ways," I feel like about half are ridiculously sheltered. I mean it is almost a different experiance growing up a few blocks west of Highay 99, than it is living in downtown Edmonds.
Today is the birthday of this wonderful country.
I went to a Mariners game last night, it was pretty awesome. I mean the Mariners totally lost, which is lame, but this season I really wouldn't expect anything more. I saw this band LP and the BB and one of the guys has a kingdome tattoo. Badass. I want to get an oldschool Mariners hat, like blue and yellow one with the upside down trident.
Oh, I've been playing lots of fooseball. I love it!