Sunday, March 30, 2008

Mother Unit, What is Love?

I'm back in Olympia.
It has been nice being able to sleep in my own bed and have all my things. And of course it is nice seeing all my friends here, but I do miss my family. When I am in Edmonds for the weekend, I always feel so rushed and I barely have enough time for anyone. Over spring break I had so much spare time, I really felt able to relax and hang out with my sisters and mom.

Last night I went to a show downtown. it was really energetic and crowded, especially for Olympia. I was into it. Only a few more days till I get to move off campus forever. Woot! It is kind of weird to not be aloud to live here ever again. I mean I probably wouldn't purely because it is more expensive. But I mean, housing is a community I have been extremely involved with for the last year and a half. It kind of sucks knowing that I can no longer ever be apart of something that I am so invested in.

Oh well. The Glen is my new home. Expect updates on house warming party. Oh and Our house blog will be up and running soon enough.

Now it is time to watch 30Rock.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


My Mommy and I saw 10,000 B.C. today. Hmmm, how do I describe this movie. In one word... Awesome!! You have the Evergreener (dreadlocks and blue eyes) battling the Egyptian empire. So you know how everyone wonders how they built the pyramids, or at least were amazed at how they could move such huge rocks. Well apparently they used woolly mammoths. A weird thing about the movie is that they were kicking it in Ancient Egypt, whilst they were building the pyramids. And one could conclude that the movie took place in 10,000 B.C., and I believe the pyramids were not built until much later.

I would say the best part of the movie was when there was a saber tooth tiger stuck in this hole and it was drowning. The main character was about to kill him. I whipser to my mom, "if he befriends the saber tooth tiger I'm leaving." Within seconds you se the main character fel bad for the tiger and he says to him, "if I save you, you can't kill me" What the hell.

I don't think it was as good as A Day After Tomorrow.

We were two of seven people in the theatre.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

meh, life is hard.

Spring break!

Last year I took a train with some of my best friends to San Francisco. It was an adventure. We rode on a train for 25 hours and navigated a city non of us had ever been to before.

This year I have spent most of spring break laying around my mom's apartment watching TV and feeling sorry for myself. It was definitely less exciting than last year. I keep on thinking things are going to get better tomorrow. "Once winter quarter is over, everything will be better" "Once I am not an RA, everything will be better" "Once I change variable X everything will be better." Maybe things aren't just going to get better. Maybe time isn't enough to make positive change. I want this quarter to be better than the last. I want my life to be better. I want to be happier, more productive, more honest. What can I do to make this change. I always feel like I am in this transition. College is just preparing me for the next step. But maybe I shouldn't keep settling, because I am constantly holding out for the next step. I want things to be better an more fulfilling now.

meh, life is hard.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Elizabeth Perkins, I bet she flipped the cop car.

I've been in Edmonds for a couple days now. When I am staying with my mommy in Edmonds, I watch a lot of TV. In olympia, I never watch TV. This is probably because I don't have one. My family has digital cable, so we have tons of channels. I have been watching a lot of TV on a lot of channels.

Shelby and I watched the movie Big starring the wonderful and talente Tom Hanks. This movie is seeminlgy innocent and a cute story about always being a kid at heart and cherishing your youth. I've probably seen this movie a dozen times over my life time, never really gave it a second thought. Re watching it just yesterday has displayed how horrific this boys journey into temporary adulthood really is. First of all, the way they get by this boy being away from his family for so long, is they convince his mother that he was kidnapped. WHAT THE FUCK!! This poor mother is left in near ruins for months while fucking Tom Hanks plays around on keybpards you can dance on. This movie could have taken a whole other route. This lady having to stay strong and pull herself together while her son is out of reach and potentionally being molested and brainwashed (I mean, what would you assume would be happening to your kid). And then Tom Hanksy just wonders on back home. There would be no "happily ever after," they would call the police and try to find the guy who kidnapped her son, then he would be taken to a doctor and a psychiatrist to make sure he isn't totally fucked up. The mother would probably be permenantly scarred by the fear of losing her son that she would be horribly over protective until she drove herself into early dementia.

On another note, what about Tom Hanks himself? Everyone watching this movie quickly falls in love with his naive and childlike reaction to all these silly adult situations he is thrown into. One of his coworkers. played by Elizabeth Perkins, becomes taken by his honest and mysterious nature. She tries to sleep over and Tom, silly as he is, thinks there havign a "sleep over!@!@#!". After a few weeks of this innocent dating, They have sex! Tom hanks may have the boy of a 40 year old, but he is mentally a 13 year old. 13 years old!!!! Some may find this to be a fine age to be ushered into adult hood by the act of sexual intercourse, but old fashioned Tasha finds this to be absolutely wrong. Elizabeth steals the virginity of the naive Tommy Hanks. And after she learns the truth about his age, and sees him transform back into a prepubesent child, she tells him to keep her number and to call her in ten years.

Alright, lets try and enter the mind of Elizabeth. You have just found out that the guy you have been sleeping with is actually a 13 year old you got transformed into an adult by a carnival-esque coin machine that granted wishes. Would your first reaction be, when will he be old enough to bone again? NO! you think, I am a fucking monster. I should go to jail, what a horrible mistake. How can I wash my hands clean of this?

You know, if her reaction was to kill Tom bcause of the overwhelming guilt she should have felt, well I would have been okay with that reaction. That makes more sense than "Call me in ten years."

My mommy told me I wasn't getting an Easter basket this year. Unlike most of my friends, I made sure to be with my fmily on this holiday. But I don't get a fricking basket. She told me if I wanted to get candy, I needed to participate in the Easter egg hunt. I warned her that if that was the case, I was going to be ruthless. The aster edd hunt begins and I am fucking rocking. No one explained any rules to hunting eggs other than, GET EGGS!! So you know what, I might have knocked over kids smaller than me to get an egg. I may have stolen 4 eggs out of a two year olds basket when she wasn't looking. I may have cheated when the eggs were being hid by peaking.
I don't feel bad. I am a pirate. Oh and guess who won? ... Me! Thats right, me! I fouind more eggs than any of thos little kids. Maybe next year the Easter bunny won't be so cheap and will fork out a basket for me.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Spring Break!!

When you think of spring break, you usually imagine a bunch of drunk college kids having bonfires on sunny warm beaches and girls taking their tops off for video cameras. Spring break in Olympia, Washington isn't nearly as drunk, naked, or warm as the previously described spring break fantasy. Our campus is rainy, cold, and saddest of all, completely desolate and empty. It is the Friday of eval week, a day away from spring break, and I am still on campus. I could have left by Wednesday, but I wanted to stay and figure out my job situation.

Charlie and Riley left this morning to go hiking. I am kind of jealous. I really wanted to go, it just wanted financially feasible at this juncture of my life. In a week and a half I get my fine aid check, and it will be smooth sailing. I usually don't make very large purchases, instead I slowly waste all of my money on CDs and Reef trips. I am thinking of investing in a nice hiking backpack. I don't really need one, but it would be a good investment.

I want to go in the woods, be at one with nature. Poop in a hole.

This blog post is particularly random and pointless.
I apologize if you read it.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Can you live primarily off eggs and grilled cheese?

We cooked in my dorm room tonight. It was a feast. We had eggs, bacon, grilled cheese, and chili. I feel like such an adult. I usually just swipe my card and eat at the Greenery. As much as I have been living "on my own" for a year and a half, living in housing is so structured and there is so much security. I have always had someone telling when to eat and when to clean (well mostly Jai cleaned for me). I am excited about the prospects of failing. If I don't get a job, I will fail. If I don't find an apartment, I have no where to live. If I don't pay the bills, I won't have the necessities of life. Sometimes I need to be pushed to the edge to even realize I am on a cliff. I don't do well without borders. I go to a school that really encourages independent learning and people taking care of themselves. I have never had to take care of myself. Now that I am really going to be living on my own, for real, I am going to have to get things in order.

I might fail.
but maybe that is okay.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Welcome to Fuck Mountain

I'm back!

My computer has been out of commission since Tuesday and my blog readers are really the victims of this tragedy. Well lets see, life has been good. Tomorrow is my Eval. I am almost done with this horrible quarter. I did poorly in class, isolated a lot of friends with my flakyness, and did my job so bad I got fired. I am ready to move on and look forward to a lot of changes in my life in the next few weeks.

Last Thursday at 7pm marked the beginning of our 26 hour pray room. This is where we take shifts in the prayer room, so that we have at least 2 people in the room at all times. Our group on campus is pretty small, so this was a daunting task. I alone had signed up to pray for 8 hours. We transformed my room by taking down all my posters and hiding all my belongs, and replacing them with mood creating devices, like candles and stuff. I was really stressed out at first, We were running late and a lot of other pressures from life were weighing on me. Once we finally get started and everything is going, it was a little awkward at first. I don't think any of us really knew what to expect. Over the next 26 hours I got to experience so much time with God. I was dreading the 8 hour obligation I had agreed to, but I probably spent nearly 17 hours in the prayer room. I just didn't want to leave, I forced myself to go to bed and to class. It wasn't boring or dreadful at all, it was calming and exciting all at the same time. I just felt so at peace with myself and the world around me. I got to experience God through talking, singing, writing, painting, listening, and reading. It was just a wonderful reminder that God is great and I should want to spend time with him always. Even since Friday when we finished I have barely spent time in pray. I really want to set a schedule so that I can hold myself accountable. I want to devout all aspects of who I am to living for God. I want to constantly be excited in his word. I hope that next quarter, with less stress from school, I will be able to live my life more intentionally.

In other news, I am preparing for next quarter! I am job hunting and figuring out my living situation. Nathan moved into my dorm on Saturday. It has been fun. Carley, Nathan, and I watched Arrested Development last night till we all fell asleep. On April 4th we move into our new apartment. We found someone to rent out the 2nd bedroom, her name is Ashley. She seems really nice and I am excited about living with her. I might get a couch. yes!

I am ready for a better, happier, healthier, more proactive life. As much as it sucks to get fired, I think it lead to a lot of distress, so I am excited about new opportunities and new adventures. So you know how it kind of sucks when several people live together, so you are not sure what to call it. Do you say, "I am going over to Nathan's house" or do you say "I am going over to Tasha's house"? We want to avoid this potentially awkward moment at ALL COSTS!! So we decided to name our apartment. So now you can say "I'm going to Fuck Mountain!!" We also are thinking of starting a house blog. So I'll keep you posted on that news. We'll probably have some sort of house warming party.


Monday, March 10, 2008

No more.

Wow, today was a good day!

I applied for an apartment at the Glen, and the lady said as long as I pass a background check I am in. Apt # 164, my new home. I am getting more and more excited about getting fired. I am going to have my own apartment and pay rent like a real adult. Jai said she will teach me to cook. I already know how to cook an egg. I could live off pacmans. I just want this quarter to be over. I want a fresh start. I kind of screwed up life this quarter and I am ready for it to be behind me. I am afraid I might loose credit, if so I am just going to have to deal.

My life has a weird way of just working out, against all odds. I always get a break and too many second chances. I almost failed an essential class my senior year of high school. My teacher found out I was a Christian and I magically went from having 30% to 60.5%, just enough to pass. I barely registered for college, it wasn't until Kayci's mom sat me down at a computer and made me register that I actually sent my application. For college, I sent in my housing application in the middle of August, two months past the deadline, and I ended up on the best floor. I have had random people holding my hand all my life. I am ready to face the consequences I have created in my own life. I don't do my work, I lose credit. I don't do my job I get fired. I don't pay rent I get evicted. This is what it means to be an adult, and against my will the cosmos made me grow up and be an adult.

My mom once told me she thinks I have self destructive tendencies. I sabotage myself so that I am not successful. This may be true. I may also just be completely disorganized and lazy. Which ever, I am ready to move on.

It is time to prioritize and live up to my potential.
I am good at making excuses for my own downfalls.

No more.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

While were both sinking (stinking thinking)

Am I really that expendable?

I must have done something right.
I don't appreciate an example being made out of me.
I am so glad I get to escape this.

Friday, March 7, 2008

May our only occupation be not having a job

I got fired today.

Yep, the old Peggster fucking fired me. Out of all the stupid shit I've done, the final straw is me showing up half hour late for duty. Wah Wahhhhhh. I am currently blasting Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains, there real good music to be pissed off with.

So, unlike most jobs, when I get fired I also become homeless and without food. Anybody looking for a roommate?


Thursday, March 6, 2008

... I can't wait for the weekend


I just got home, it is 5:30. I have been animating since 4pm, this has been a 13 and a half hour animation session. I am probably half way done now. I finished the first season of 30 rock, it was really good. I am hooked.

It is time for bed.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I am not even going to proof read this.

I have been animating all day. Pretty much straight, except for breaks for food and bathroom, for 5 hours now. Wow, thinking about that is kind of depressing, it seems like closer to 9 hours. I still have seven hours scheduled in the non linear suite tonight. I just needed a break, so I thought I'd blog.

I have been listening to The Pharmacy's new album. Nathan got it for me the record. It definitely isn't nearly as good as B.F.F. but it is nice to have something new to listen to from them. It is a lot more produced sounding, even to the point where Charlie said he kind of liked it. This is a day to go down in history! Charlie kind of likes the Pharmacy.

Wow, I'm so tired, forming these sentences are hard, I really should just finish my animation.

Something I have noticed about videos I have made is that the more time I spend working on it, the more I hate the final product. Or at least the more I hate the final product for the first two months after I finish. After spending hours looking at a computer screen working the piece together for days, I just got so sick of the way it looks and sounds. I get completely unimpressed by everything I have done. The problem with the sort of animation I am doing currently is that I am doing it all on the computer, every bit of it. I still have at least twenty more hours or so of work on it and I am so sick of looking at it already. Animation is definitely not where my passions lay.

Alright, back to work!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

performing and transforming

eating ring pops with my sisters and listening to Defiance, Ohio, its a good day.

I just got back from the Jeremiah Center's dinner theatre, which started at 1:30, so it was more like lunch time theatre. It was absolutely wonderful. It is awesome seeing my friends transform on stage and embody characters that are so foriegn to their own. It is remarkable the level of production quality they are able to pull off in the few short weeks they prepair. I mean I guess you will always laugh more when it is people you know on stage, but it was just absolutely hilarious.

Sometimes it can be problematic. Peoples ability to perform. I worry about my friends at the Jeremiah Center a lot. They are awesome people, but they lead bizzare lives. I know this because I was one of the JC kids when I was in high school. It is probably one of the most demanding youth groups ever invented. It is great, there are many avenues that allow people to devote a good amount of time to different ministries. The bad side is that it is super intense. The community created there is super tight and good friendships are created. In this super intensive tight community, there is a serious lack of accountability and honesty. I am not trying to be really critical of them, this is something most communities, especially Christian communities, lack terribly. I am afriad that the JC community is starting to feel the burden of being Christian teenagers and I hope that they can overcome that constant pressure. In that group dynamic there is way to much performing and displaying characters that aren't your own. You can't screw up if your on SLT, you can't experiment with drugs and alcohol if you go to church. When we believe these things, it causes us to hide who we really are from our churches and Christian communities. I wish that the JC community, and everyones Chrisitan community could embrace a group dynamic that embraced honesty and accountability. If we all could just bring our brokeness to the foreground, in a humble way that didn't glorify sin, we all could thrive better in our communities. Youth groups and bible studies are cool ways to make friends and learn a thing or two about Jesus, but they also have the potential to be places where teenagers and young adults can grow in there relationships with God through their relationships with each other. I want this in my own community, the JC community, and ever community.

In other news, I just talked to Josh Jones. I took the Jeremiah Center internship position this summer. These means I can't go to India. Deanna and Caleb will be sad. I am also really sad. I wanted to go, but I feel like this will be a better opportunity for me in this place in my life. It was a hard decision, but the JC is a ministry that means a lot to me and I am honored to b given a position that can allow me to participate in what God has in store for that place, which I know are amazing things.

Nathan is moving to Olympia in a couple weeks! I'm really excited.

I need to figure out something to do for my spring project. Any ideas?

I am in a Monopoly kind of a mood.

Oh, and people who want to judge me and my friends can get over themselves, their opinions are not that important. I just wish my friends had my back.


Tonight was Charlie's birthday. There was a lot of dancing, beer and nylons. All the ingredients of a wonderful party. I am currently waiting for my laundry to be done, I got another 45 minutes. I am trying out the show 30rock. I am 6 minutes into the pilot. Its alright.

Charlie's party was fun.

I have to wake up at 8:30, it is 3:15.

I have nothing worth saying.
I'm done.