Sunday, March 23, 2008

Elizabeth Perkins, I bet she flipped the cop car.

I've been in Edmonds for a couple days now. When I am staying with my mommy in Edmonds, I watch a lot of TV. In olympia, I never watch TV. This is probably because I don't have one. My family has digital cable, so we have tons of channels. I have been watching a lot of TV on a lot of channels.

Shelby and I watched the movie Big starring the wonderful and talente Tom Hanks. This movie is seeminlgy innocent and a cute story about always being a kid at heart and cherishing your youth. I've probably seen this movie a dozen times over my life time, never really gave it a second thought. Re watching it just yesterday has displayed how horrific this boys journey into temporary adulthood really is. First of all, the way they get by this boy being away from his family for so long, is they convince his mother that he was kidnapped. WHAT THE FUCK!! This poor mother is left in near ruins for months while fucking Tom Hanks plays around on keybpards you can dance on. This movie could have taken a whole other route. This lady having to stay strong and pull herself together while her son is out of reach and potentionally being molested and brainwashed (I mean, what would you assume would be happening to your kid). And then Tom Hanksy just wonders on back home. There would be no "happily ever after," they would call the police and try to find the guy who kidnapped her son, then he would be taken to a doctor and a psychiatrist to make sure he isn't totally fucked up. The mother would probably be permenantly scarred by the fear of losing her son that she would be horribly over protective until she drove herself into early dementia.

On another note, what about Tom Hanks himself? Everyone watching this movie quickly falls in love with his naive and childlike reaction to all these silly adult situations he is thrown into. One of his coworkers. played by Elizabeth Perkins, becomes taken by his honest and mysterious nature. She tries to sleep over and Tom, silly as he is, thinks there havign a "sleep over!@!@#!". After a few weeks of this innocent dating, They have sex! Tom hanks may have the boy of a 40 year old, but he is mentally a 13 year old. 13 years old!!!! Some may find this to be a fine age to be ushered into adult hood by the act of sexual intercourse, but old fashioned Tasha finds this to be absolutely wrong. Elizabeth steals the virginity of the naive Tommy Hanks. And after she learns the truth about his age, and sees him transform back into a prepubesent child, she tells him to keep her number and to call her in ten years.

Alright, lets try and enter the mind of Elizabeth. You have just found out that the guy you have been sleeping with is actually a 13 year old you got transformed into an adult by a carnival-esque coin machine that granted wishes. Would your first reaction be, when will he be old enough to bone again? NO! you think, I am a fucking monster. I should go to jail, what a horrible mistake. How can I wash my hands clean of this?

You know, if her reaction was to kill Tom bcause of the overwhelming guilt she should have felt, well I would have been okay with that reaction. That makes more sense than "Call me in ten years."

My mommy told me I wasn't getting an Easter basket this year. Unlike most of my friends, I made sure to be with my fmily on this holiday. But I don't get a fricking basket. She told me if I wanted to get candy, I needed to participate in the Easter egg hunt. I warned her that if that was the case, I was going to be ruthless. The aster edd hunt begins and I am fucking rocking. No one explained any rules to hunting eggs other than, GET EGGS!! So you know what, I might have knocked over kids smaller than me to get an egg. I may have stolen 4 eggs out of a two year olds basket when she wasn't looking. I may have cheated when the eggs were being hid by peaking.
I don't feel bad. I am a pirate. Oh and guess who won? ... Me! Thats right, me! I fouind more eggs than any of thos little kids. Maybe next year the Easter bunny won't be so cheap and will fork out a basket for me.


Nathan. said...

Way to give it 110%, Tasha!!!

And with the Elizabeth Perkin's thing, I'm pretty sure you're just 'ageist'.

carhenge said...


Stealing candy from babies is cool again? Someone definitely should have told me about this.