Monday, March 10, 2008

No more.

Wow, today was a good day!

I applied for an apartment at the Glen, and the lady said as long as I pass a background check I am in. Apt # 164, my new home. I am getting more and more excited about getting fired. I am going to have my own apartment and pay rent like a real adult. Jai said she will teach me to cook. I already know how to cook an egg. I could live off pacmans. I just want this quarter to be over. I want a fresh start. I kind of screwed up life this quarter and I am ready for it to be behind me. I am afraid I might loose credit, if so I am just going to have to deal.

My life has a weird way of just working out, against all odds. I always get a break and too many second chances. I almost failed an essential class my senior year of high school. My teacher found out I was a Christian and I magically went from having 30% to 60.5%, just enough to pass. I barely registered for college, it wasn't until Kayci's mom sat me down at a computer and made me register that I actually sent my application. For college, I sent in my housing application in the middle of August, two months past the deadline, and I ended up on the best floor. I have had random people holding my hand all my life. I am ready to face the consequences I have created in my own life. I don't do my work, I lose credit. I don't do my job I get fired. I don't pay rent I get evicted. This is what it means to be an adult, and against my will the cosmos made me grow up and be an adult.

My mom once told me she thinks I have self destructive tendencies. I sabotage myself so that I am not successful. This may be true. I may also just be completely disorganized and lazy. Which ever, I am ready to move on.

It is time to prioritize and live up to my potential.
I am good at making excuses for my own downfalls.

No more.

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