Tuesday, January 20, 2009


So do you ever feel like things just don't make sense and there is no reasonable explaination. Like why is it that I can't find a listing for any businesses inside the Olympia business park thing, but every business that is supposed to be there comes up with a listing in another area of town. They are all listed at this other random location, even though I know it isn't where they actually reside. So, when I try to find the number for the other restaurant I went to yesterday, which is completely unrelated to the Olympia business park, it apparently doesn't exsist in google. Oh maybe it isn't updated, the restuarant used to be downtown, so I call the listing google has for the downtown restaurant and someone answers, but it isn't for the restaurant, it is someones private line. My back pack went missing yesterday and my attempts to retrace my steps are proving to lead me to be more confused.

So, maybe its a bad idea to spend 3 hours watching a science fiction tv show, but now I've got all these wack conspiracies going through my head. Why can't I find a listing for Hot Iron Monglian Grill, Starbucks, Taco Del Mar, or Fuji Teriaki? Why can't I seem to remember where the hell my pack back could have gone? Why can none of my friends find it in their homes? Who or what is trying to keep me from getting to the truth and what important meaning does the green jansport hold that someone is going to such great lengths to keep me from it? Or does the green back pack even exsist? Did I even go to these restaurants? What is reality and what is fiction?

This is all so disorientating. 

Monday, January 19, 2009

How does this make you feel?


Remember that day when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Well... It's kind of like that.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Growing Old

I went to a Pharmacy show a few weeks ago. They just recently moved to New Orleans and it was their last show here. Most people who know me are aware that I really like that band, like a lot. I have been to over 25 Pharmacy shows. I own three different Pharmacy shirts. I have 8 Pharmacy posters up in my room. I went to a show once and it was a mere 5 or 6 hours after getting intense dental surgery. I had gauze in my mouth and I was spitting blood into a cup in the front row. I was singing so hard I popped a stitch. I've been to shows with hundred of other people and shows with 4 other people. To say the least, the Pharmacy has been a major part of my life over the last 4 years. My interest in them has definitely declined over the last year or so, I mean I barely see them anymore, although I still appreciate them. 

When I was preparing to go to their most recent Seattle show, the last one before they moved, I didn't think much about the fact that a band I had dedicated so much time and energy to would be moving across the country. To be perfectly honest I didn't care much at all. If something better had been presented I may not have gone to the show at all. Well I went and it was a lot of fun. I saw a ton of people who I knew and a lot of great bands I had never heard of. I am not going to describe every detail of the show because no one cares, but they did play Fedex Planes and Comic Book, which was a great surprise. 

When the show ended a weird sadness kind of fell over me. This show was an overdue marker for the end of an era. I don't just mean an era of seeing Pharmacy shows. It was more like that band was a major element to the caricature I embodied Freshmen year, someone who I no longer can identify with. I am seemingly probably pretty similar to the person I was two years ago. I dress the same, I listen to the same music (for the most part), I am studying the same thing in school and shit, I hang out with mostly the same people. Despite being seemingly unchanged, I know I am a different person, maybe even purely for the reason that I don't want to go to punk shows three days a week anymore. 

Classes have started again for this quarter. Yesterday I started freaking out. I need to orchestrate the creation of a half hour long film, and I feel completely incompetent. I know that as soon as I am on the set, my amazing film making skills will speak for themselves. But I need to make shit happen. I need to find actors and a location. I need to hold auditions and rehearsals. I need to get costumes and props. I need to be organized and self motivated. I need to finish writing that damn script. I am not confident in my ability to do any of these things. Maybe I should get off my ass and work on this now instead of sitting around blogging. 

For class this quarter I need to keep a production blog. I'll set up a link to that as soon as I get it up and running. 

I'm getting real internet soon! 

"Spent the first hundred years of my life growing old"