Thursday, August 14, 2008

Remain in Limbo


This is a word I've been using recently to describe my life. I am sure every college student can use this word. That is just part of the whole college experience. Lets look over some numbers, just so we can see just how damn temporary my life has been.

I moved to the Evergreen State College, into room A418
I became an RA and moved into B building
I moved home for the summer into the house on 220th
We got evicted, I moved into an apartment with my mommy
I moved back to school, C building
I got fired from that RA job and moved into an apartment with Nathan
(I won't even count the time I spent without home)
I moved in with my sister for the summer
we got evicted, I moved in with my mom
In a month I m moving back to Olympia

In the last two years I have lived in 8 places, it will be 9 here real soon. I have also had four different jobs. My life has been unpredictable to say the least.

It's hard investing into situations that are temporary. Why decorate your room when your only living somewhere for 8 weeks? I have really struggled with how to deal with the temporary. A simple answer (which I have greatly considered) is cutting out one of the two pulling forces in my life. I am constantly living in this limbo between Olympia and Edmonds. I cannot completely invest in one until I can let go of the other. When I was at school I thought that after this summer I would never come back to Edmonds long term. I would stake permenant residency in Olympia. During internship I greatly considered not returning to school and continuing to invest in this community. What I have come to realize is that I am not ready to let go of either community. I need to finish school and I am so excited about the people I will be in community with next year at school, I also can not deny a community that has made me who I am today. The Jeremiah Center is a community I love and cannot live without.

What does this mean?______________________
__________________________More temporary.

Last week at Salt and Light: Sunday Night we studied the passage that basically says; do not store up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But store up your treasures in Heaven where moth and rust do not detroy and where theives do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is your heart will be also. As usual I didn't prepare a ton for this bible study. But as I was leading I had one of those Aha! moments that are so revered. Treasures on earth are destroyed by moths and rust and get stolen by thieves. Treasures on earth are easily taken away. Treasures on earth are temporary. This constant struggle with being temporary will continue to make me question my call and rediscover where God wants me to be. If my treasures are not temporary, than my heart will also not be temporary. Maybe I can love two communities that are a hundred miles apart.

How can I make lasting treasures, treasures that are stored in Heaven. I need to invest in the lasting. I need to stake my identity in the acountable. I need to give my heart to the permenant. I have been blessed with two, very different, communities. I want to love and serve them both.

I need to remain in Limbo__________________
______________________for at least a little bit longer.

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