Thursday, February 14, 2008


Keep positive! Chin up!
What if a good attitude isn't enough?

I am usually real good at dealing with problems. I pride myself on being pretty straight forward and reasonable. What if being a good listener isn't enough? What if honesty isn't enough? I get sucked into the horrible black hole of passive aggressive behavior. There is nothing in this world that bothers me more than passive aggressive people. If you have a problem with me, tell me! No manipulation, no mind games, just TELL ME!!!

I say this, but I am just as guilty as anyone else.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I tried being honest. I tried being understanding. I tried not letting it bother me. I tried passive aggressive mind games. I don't know what to do anymore. Is my last option burning that bridge?

This blog post in its self is passive aggressive as fuck.

Tell me what you need! I will do the best I can to deliver. I wouldn't care this much if you didn't matter to me, but I am out ideas.

In other news, I suck at life.

I am at the end of my rope.
one fuck up away from getting fired.

How can I do this job if I don't feel like I can trust anyone? Don't tell me you care about me and believe in me, just to talk shit about me to my peers. How can I be straight forward and honest when it could cost me my job. Bite the bullet? Maybe. Do what I can to survive? I guess.

This summer my family got evicted from our home. My mom doesn't have the best credit, for awhile it seemed as though we wouldn't be able to find another place to live. This was the first time in my life I ever worried about not having a home. I mean, I was a few weeks from going off to college, but I still couldn't bare the thought of my family not having a home. We'd all lived in that house for 9 years, it was the only house I had ever called home. My mom found an apartment near my little sisters schools. It worked out great, a much more convenient location for everyone. But not home.

If I get fired, I don't have anywhere to live. I know my friends would take care of me until I got my business in order, but still, no security. No where to call home.

Being an adult sucks!

1 comment:

carhenge said...

I know what you mean. I have lots of thoughts about similar feelings/situations, but we'll talk in person. You try hard and that's impressive.