Thursday, October 30, 2008

Nature of Faith

If you run, he will chase you.

I want to be woken up. I want to know that life has meaning and I am purposeful. I can't just be here due to some cosmic coincidence. I guess my doubts with faith can also just be seen as asking the questions know one has answers to. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be fulfilling while I am here on this earth? Life is so much bigger than myself, this country, this world, this plane of existence. Thinking of big things scares me. Thinking of how little control any of us really has frightens the hell out of me. 

I want to trust that God has a plan, and not just for me, but for the world. 

Isn't the nature of faith believing without tangible evidence? 

I worked for 10 straight hours today. I also got a raise. 25 cents an hour. I am doing well in school. I feel really prepared for my up coming project. I lead bible study tonight, I was rather put together and did a good job. 
But what does any of these things have to do with any thing big or lasting?

Can God really care about each individual? Could God possibly not care about everyone? 

I just want to sing indie music to an acoustic guitar and cry a little bit. 
I am not even sad. I just want to feel overwhelmed with emotion. 
I want to overflow with joy, and pain.

I have been keeping an image diary thing. It will apparently make me a better artist.
I want to see truth, beauty, and significance. 
Then I want to right it down in a dorky little notebook I keep in my back pocket.

Yep, sleep time!

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