Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sharis vs Denny's

Unfortunately since the death of the Pine Cone Cafe (damn you Tom!) the greater Edmonds area has been lacking a good late night diner. Beth's Cafe is pretty sweet, but that is all the way in North Seattle. It really is slim pickings around these parts. Basically I must make the choice between Sharis and Denny's. They are both corporate overpriced diners that I really don't like supporting, but alas I have that caffeine addiction needs to be curbed one way or another. In the last two nights I have been to both if them. I am going to review the pros and cons of each to decide which I should be going to when I am in Edmonds. I believe there are several different things to look at when considering which diner is preferable. These things are; convenience of location, seating, prices, food, service, menus, name of establishment, and of course most importantly the freaking coffee.

Location:
Both are located on highway 99 and easily accessible by the 101. Sharis is 1 mile north of my house and Denny's is 1 mile south. They are equally easy to get to.

Seating:
Every Sharis you ever will go to will be set up in the same manner. They are all six sided and almost identical. I like this comfort. Sharis is almost completely made up of booths, which is a big plus. I feel much less vulnerable at a booth than in a table. Denny's, or at least the on near my house, is mostly tables. Fuck tables. I don't like sitting at a table if I can help it. My friends and I are generally pretty obnoxious, so I appreciate the privacy of the booths. Sharis definitely wins in the seating category.

Prices:
Although I must say both are over priced for what you get, Denny's is definitely cheaper. The prices are pretty similar, but Denny's portions are more forgiving than cheap ass Sharis. Although the 1.50 mashed potatoes are pretty bad ass.

Food:
Both pretty shitty. Denny's has pretty good seasoned fries. Sharis has these deep fried ravioli things, I know that sounds gross, but the are good news. I don't know, this catoegory is probably a tie.

Service:
I usually get pretty average to poor service at Denny's, nothing to write home about. Sharis has some really nice people on the wait staff. I wouldn't call any of it service "good". Something Sharis does is they put a pot of coffee on the table for me too serve myself. I am alright with this, I get plenty of coffee. Despite these things, I can't go without mentioning that Sharis manager is an asshole. He has accused me of being drunk at his establishment on several occasions. He has told me he doesn't want me and my friends going there. Bad service!!

Menus:
Denny's menus are pretty straight forward, to the point. Sharis are way too big and completely random. Somethings are not even listed on the menu (like the mashed potatoes) and somethings are listed 7 different times (like the specialty soup). Denny's takes this one home.

Name:
They both lack creativity. But at least Denny's addresses the apostrophe needed to make the title work. Sharis is living a lie. It needs an apostrophe to fricking work!! damn it!

Coffee:
Denny's coffee is descent at best. Sharis coffee, on the other hand, fricking rules! I love Arosta. They have the traditional roast, bold roast, and a decaf roast. This shit is rock 'n roll. I mean, coffee is very important to me. I love Arosta. hell yeah!!


So after considering all these things I have decided the best diner in Edmonds is...


Drum roll please...











... They both suck.

I miss the Reef :(

6 comments:

King Tony said...

dennys is gross,, ive had dirty dishes and soapy tasting water only from dennys,, and i love the waitress staff on 196th and 99 sharis

Charlie said...

Well done. In Mount Vernon, Denny's takes it for me.
But the Reef blows away everything. We should make christmas cards for them even if there late.

carrrrrrrley said...

new year's presents kill christmas gifts for sure. let's make happy 2008 cards...

Amanda said...

The ending was so predictable.

Nathan!@# said...

Weird.
One of the last essays I wrote in high school english was a compare & contrast of Denny's and Sharis.

Sharis came out on top in mine, though.

Anonymous said...

Terrible review.