Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dear RC,

I am sorry RC. I am sorry I posted a blog that presented you in a really negative way. I have been so angry at you, I didn't even consider your feelings. I am still going to struggle with understanding you and believing the things you tell me, but it is a struggle I am willing to go through. I think the reason I am so upset with you, is because you mean so much to me. You are one of my best friends and it drives me crazy that I hate you right now. I beg for your forgiveness. I acted selfishly. I understand if you don't forgive me right away, or ever. I did something very rude. All I can do now is pray to God that you will forgive me. I have spent along time praying over what has happened recently. I have no right to be mean to you, I am called to love you. No matter what. I want to love you and treat you as Jesus would treat you. This is really hard for me to say because I am a prideful person, but I know this is what God wants me to do. If you were ever interested in discussing this matter in person, or whatever, I would be willing to do that. If I can publicly say all kinds of rude things about you, I can publicly apologize too. I want you to understand that I didn't write those things to hurt you. I really didn't think you would ever read those words, or maybe I did subconsciously, I don't know. But that is irrelevant because you were hurt by what I wrote. I am sorry. All I can ask is that you pray for me. Even if you hate me, please pray for me.

RC, I am sorry.


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