Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I found my wallet.

I was completely freaked out by the concept of losing my wallet. That would mean I would need to replace my ID card, meal card, laundry card, and my debit card. Not to mention, several old photos that I carry around in my wallet that I do not want to lose. But lucky for me I found it. I feel kind of stupid. It was in my room. I thought I had searched every surface of my room, but it had fallen somehow underneath my heater. But whatever, I found it and that is all that matters.

I really seem to be screwing up recently. I am kind of lost in my life. I feel like every aspect of my life is just so screwed. Today was a good day for reconciling some of the things that have been bothering me. I have a project due on Friday that I was kind of freaking out about, but I am feeling a lot better about it now. I talked with my group, so I am more confident we will pull everything together. I have another project due in a couple weeks, and I think I will have enough time to finish it up.

Deanna and Caleb prayed with me for a long time yesterday and listened to me talk. It was super helpful. It helped pin point reasons why I am so lost and what I can do to get back on track. So this may sound dumb, but it may have very simply made my week. I was trying to turn on my computer earlier and it wasn't working properly. Every time it turned on none of the icons on my desktop would show up. This happens every once in awhile. Usually I just turn off my computer and restart it. On rare occasions I need to restart it twice or three times for it to work. Today when I went to turn on my computer it wouldn't work at all. I kept turning it on and then forcing it off, over and over again. After like eight attempts to get my computer to work I was super frustrated. That, plus all this other stress was really weighing on me. I just didn't know what to do, so I started praying. I said over and over again "God please make my computer work" I must have said it close to a dozen times. As I was saying this over and over again, waiting for my computer to start I remember thinking how lame it was to pray for my computer to work, some people don't even have a computer. God won't care if my computer isn't working. Then I remembered the passage Ask, Seek, Knock. I just concentrated on those passages and kept praying "God please make my computer work." And it worked. My desktop had all of its icons and I was able to go on. This may sound ridiculously trivial, but I don't care. I asked God for something and I was given it. I love God. I also found my wallet right after this happened. I am feeling much better.

I listen to Page France more than anyone else on LastFM. Just thought I would put that out there.

I yelled at these freshmen today. A few days ago at the Greenery this guy stood up and made an announcement, he basically encouraged everyone to stand up and put their voice out there. Today he stood up again and said that one of his friends had taken his advice and wanted to make an announcement. During his short talk people where yelling at him and swearing and stuff, it was so rude. The other guy told everyone that their is going to be a meeting with the school about the smoking policy and everyone should go and voice their opinion. It was a pretty relevant announcement. A few minutes later as I was throwing away my food and putting away my tray, I heard a couple guys talking shit about the guy who encouraged us all to use our voices. They were the same guys who were yelling at him. I ignored them and continued on my way to the dorms. I was stopped on the trail for a few minutes talking with Matt Louv when the same boys walked by me again. They were still making fun of this guy and I just couldn't hold back. I yelled at them "Why don't you stop being fucking jackasses." This was probably the least effective way to get my point across, but it sure did make me feel better. I felt kind of like Charlie. I just can't stand this mentality that it is okay to make fun of and belittle them because they aren't as cool as you are. I felt like I was in high school. Like the popular jocks were making fun of the weird kid. But that is bullshit, Evergreen is made for the weirdos. I am so glad I am not in high school anymore.

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